This topic is one that surfaces for me a lot. I want you all to take a moment and think about it.....really think it through and determine if you are one of these people.
For the longest time, as long as I can remember, I've never been good at accepting compliments, and that hasn't changed at all regardless of my journey! I've been told numerous times that I need to learn to just accept compliments as people DO NOT need to give them, they are CHOOSING to give them. My husband often reminds me that while I cut myself up constantly in the privacy of my own home, and often think that I leave it there, I DO NOT.......by dismissing someone else's compliment, you're also sharing your insecurities about yourself....not only continuing to cut yourself up and undermine yourself but also throwing the compliment they paid you back in their face.
I want you to take a moment and think about whether or not you are one of those people.......do you say "oh thanks but I look tired" "oh whatever" "thanks, but I have a long way to go". Any thanks but.......means that you're dismissing the compliment. While you may think that what you're saying is a nice way of saying thank-you, its actually not (so I've learned). It's a not so polite way of saying you don't believe what the person is saying and is also serving to perpetuate your self-doubt and diminish yourself. How do YOU feel when you pay someone a compliment and they dismiss it? No matter your size, shape, personality etc., you are always deserving of compliments. They are paid to you by someone who has taken the time to acknowledge something they admire or see in you. Try really hard to just say THANK YOU - and nothing else. JUST THANK YOU! I've been working really hard at this and it actually feels really great to do. I always undermine what I've done....how far I've come....what I've accomplished (and many of you know me personally and can vouch for me.....I shrug of any compliment paid to me and undermine myself constantly) but I'm learning that this is just another step of the process that is called CHANGE.
The next time someone pays you a compliment......think before you speak! And if you're brave enough to share it with us.....when it does happen......share :) I know that there are at least a dozen or more people in this group who can completely relate with me........
Many people think that because I've change so dramatically....I'm fit, I'm in shape, I'm "skinny" etc. that all of my self-esteem and body image issues go away. I can assure you, THEY DON'T. They simply change. (Now I have saggy, dead skin and struggle to feel comfortable when I'm naked for a whole new reason......I'm not sure that we are every completely happy with ourselves but goodness knows that we are healthier beings for the choices we are making every day that are helping us to love ourselves.) Now you are told you're TOO skinny. You're asked if you're starving. You have trouble shopping in stores because you're too small. You struggle at times to gain weight and take it personally when someone says "gosh you could eat a few pizzas" when you've been trying to gain weight. This brings me to another sore subject for me - since I've traveled this journey. We would never go up to someone and say "gosh you're fat" so why is it socially acceptable to tell a skinny person "gosh you're so skinny". Society doesn't have a filter for this kind of thing does it?!
Anyway, those are some of the subjects that I think of often and have private messages with people about on a daily basis......so I thought I would share as I imagine there are more of you out there who are also going through similar scenarios on your own.
Think before you speak and put yourself in someone else's shoes......accept a compliment paid to you with gratitude and try to love yourself a little bit more every day.
For the longest time, as long as I can remember, I've never been good at accepting compliments, and that hasn't changed at all regardless of my journey! I've been told numerous times that I need to learn to just accept compliments as people DO NOT need to give them, they are CHOOSING to give them. My husband often reminds me that while I cut myself up constantly in the privacy of my own home, and often think that I leave it there, I DO NOT.......by dismissing someone else's compliment, you're also sharing your insecurities about yourself....not only continuing to cut yourself up and undermine yourself but also throwing the compliment they paid you back in their face.
I want you to take a moment and think about whether or not you are one of those people.......do you say "oh thanks but I look tired" "oh whatever" "thanks, but I have a long way to go". Any thanks but.......means that you're dismissing the compliment. While you may think that what you're saying is a nice way of saying thank-you, its actually not (so I've learned). It's a not so polite way of saying you don't believe what the person is saying and is also serving to perpetuate your self-doubt and diminish yourself. How do YOU feel when you pay someone a compliment and they dismiss it? No matter your size, shape, personality etc., you are always deserving of compliments. They are paid to you by someone who has taken the time to acknowledge something they admire or see in you. Try really hard to just say THANK YOU - and nothing else. JUST THANK YOU! I've been working really hard at this and it actually feels really great to do. I always undermine what I've done....how far I've come....what I've accomplished (and many of you know me personally and can vouch for me.....I shrug of any compliment paid to me and undermine myself constantly) but I'm learning that this is just another step of the process that is called CHANGE.
The next time someone pays you a compliment......think before you speak! And if you're brave enough to share it with us.....when it does happen......share :) I know that there are at least a dozen or more people in this group who can completely relate with me........
Many people think that because I've change so dramatically....I'm fit, I'm in shape, I'm "skinny" etc. that all of my self-esteem and body image issues go away. I can assure you, THEY DON'T. They simply change. (Now I have saggy, dead skin and struggle to feel comfortable when I'm naked for a whole new reason......I'm not sure that we are every completely happy with ourselves but goodness knows that we are healthier beings for the choices we are making every day that are helping us to love ourselves.) Now you are told you're TOO skinny. You're asked if you're starving. You have trouble shopping in stores because you're too small. You struggle at times to gain weight and take it personally when someone says "gosh you could eat a few pizzas" when you've been trying to gain weight. This brings me to another sore subject for me - since I've traveled this journey. We would never go up to someone and say "gosh you're fat" so why is it socially acceptable to tell a skinny person "gosh you're so skinny". Society doesn't have a filter for this kind of thing does it?!
Anyway, those are some of the subjects that I think of often and have private messages with people about on a daily basis......so I thought I would share as I imagine there are more of you out there who are also going through similar scenarios on your own.
Think before you speak and put yourself in someone else's shoes......accept a compliment paid to you with gratitude and try to love yourself a little bit more every day.
